Eat, Workout and be Happy. Then do it all over again!

2012-01-15T22:38:00.001+08:00

I Love You Like A River
- Published on September 3, 2011 in Aleph.

‘I love you because all the loves in the world are like different rivers flowing into the same lake, where they meet and are transformed into a single love that becomes rain and blesses the earth.

‘I love you like a river that gives water to the thirsty and takes people where they want to go.

‘I love you like a river which understands that it must learn to flow differently over waterfalls and to rest in the shallows.

‘I love you because we are all born in the same place, at the same source, which keeps us provided with a constant supply of water. And so, when we feel weak, all we have to do is wait a little. The spring returns, the winter snow melts and fill us with new energy.

‘I receive your love and I give you mine.
“Not the love of a man for a woman, not the love of a father for a child, not the love of God for his creatures.
“But a love with no name and no explanation
‘Like a river that cannot explain why it follows a particular course, but simply flows onwards.

‘A love that asks for nothing and gives nothing in return; it is simply there. I will never be yours and you will never be mine; nevertheless, I can honestly say: I love you.’

2012-01-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

Whole new level of pain

2012-01-08T20:59:00.001+08:00

My legs, particularly my quads, are screaming like f**k the entire day. I swear I have the most awful face on earth while foam rolling just now.

After being on a 5x5 strength program for a month plus, I switched to the German Body Composition Circuit yesterday.

It consists of a giant set of 5 exercises, with only 30seconds rest in between exercises AND between sets.

Barbell Back Squat 4-6reps, 4secs lowering
Barbell High Pull 4-6reps
DB Jump Squats 10-12reps
Vertical Jump 15-20reps
Bodyweight Squats AMRAP
4 sets.

Then to 3sets of a superset of Chest-supported DB rows and Incline DB presses.

Can't wait to try out Day B of the program, which will be more hamstrings-dominant work.
Deadlifts woohoo..

Why are you still here?

2012-01-08T13:44:00.001+08:00

During our staff meeting before the new year, Jonathan wanted the coaches to reflect on this question:
"Why are you still here?"

There are a myriad of thoughts running through my mind each day, I wish I'm able to pen all of them down.
Today, this question simply popped into my head while I was busy reading up on topics to present for tomorrow's discussion.

Why am I still here, doing what I do?

I love and have passion for this job. I do admit that there are times when fatigue takes over me, and when I meet the occasional diffcult client, I find myself being unhappy and my temper flaring. However, in this short span of a month or so working at Genesis, the doubts I had over the past year seem to diminish bit by bit..
2011 was a love/hate wild ride of a year for me. I started out well, but somehow somewhere along the way I seem to have lost myself. I knew that I'm doing something that I love, but couldn't seem to find the job satisfaction that I was looking for.

Now I've come to realize that in the past, I placed too much of my expectations on my clients. It has got to be a 2-way thing. My desire to help will not work if they refuse to help themselves. Perhaps, having my fair share of non-compliant clients drained me out, or I simply wasn't good enough as a coach to empower them to see that there is indeed something greater within themselves.
Aha, and you see, I've always seen myself as a trainer the past year, yet in Genesis we're called coaches. There's a huge difference. As I start encountering clients who seek me in a deeper manner with issues related to their fitness, nutrition and whatever goals they have, it dawned upon me that the satisfaction that comes with my job, is in empowering people to change their lives; and they look to us not just for guidance in training/nutrition but also as a mentor, a support for walking through this journey to change for the better. It isn't all about which training program is the best or which diet to follow (still important of course), but rather, the emotional issues that most people have that are holding them back from achieving what they are capable of.

Of course, I still can't avoid those irksome people who wants quick fixes and wants to look hot in a bathing suit in a month but gives up when the rigors of hard training hit them. Patience is a virtue. Work hard, eat right, rest well and be patient. The magic will unfold when the time is right.

Learning how to align my clients' goals with my own expectations is what I will try to work towards this year. It used to bother me a lot when a person refuses to increase the load of the weights upon my instruction - i don't understand, why must you wait till the NEXT workout to progress if there is a potential for you to progress in the next set? On the other end of the spectrum, I have people feeling extremely disappointed with themselves when they fail to hit the targeted reps for their workout. (Seeing them somehow reminded me of me! Haha..)

Each day at work is a different experience altogether. From coaching whiny people who groans and complains throughout the entire training session to the student who yells in joy, jumping and punching his fist in the air when he hits his reps - well, all in a day's work. ;)

My question to you now is:

Why are you still here? -

1. Doing what you are doing
2. Being where you are

I am very privileged to be doing what I love and I will never take that for granted. But you know, we may make wrong choices along the way, yet the power always lies in us to control the only thing we have control of - ourselves. If you aren't doing what you love now because you really don't have a choice (actually, somehow, you do), remember that you still have the power to make the best out of every situation.
Cherish each moment of your life, for in each moment lies an opportunity that is given to us to grow, to learn, and to love. Like a young child, only being able to see the mother's embroidery from below - messy, cluttered and in disarray - in time to come, when the child is finally tall enough to see from his mother's perspective, what he'll see is a beautiful piece of work. So it is the same for us, we are all part of God's plan, and though we may not understand why we are put in certain situations in our lives, keep the faith and know that opportunities are always given to us, and when the time is right, we will see that the mess in our lives were all part of His beautiful plan for us. A life worth living.

"Live doing what you love, knowing where you want to go and believe that you will have what you want - anything you truly want - when the timing is right." - JT

Once again, patience. :) Good things will come in His time.
-

Finally, my 2 years of service as the Treasurer for my dragonboat team has ended. Now that I've handed over my duties to Mabel, I can better focus on my work, my passion for rowing and also for my contest preparation for this year. I want to compete in the Bodybuilding Nationals (Ms. Model Physique category) again, which will probably be held in May.

Perhaps, I will do a progress log thingy of my contest preparation. :)
Tomorrow marks the 1st week of my prep., I have approx. 16-18weeks to go..

Whatever is in store for me this year, I will do my best, keep the faith and take it one step at a time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.." - Phil 4:13

The people who matters.

2012-01-02T21:43:00.001+08:00

Snapshot of all the grandkiddies in the family during our Christmas dinner.. except for Marcus and Manfred. The brothers were in London and couldn't spend Christmas with us. :(

Well... When there's a will, there's a way..

Tada! ;)

2011-12-29T22:24:00.001+08:00

My nice cosy sleeping corner in the gym.

Christmas potluck lunch with some of the morning Bootcampers on Tuesday. Awfully nice of them to prepare the food for the Coaches and waited till we knock off too!

Silent night

2011-12-25T16:03:00.001+08:00

The Governator wishes everyone a Happy and Blessed Christmas. :D

Every Christmas Eve, I'll attend Mass with my family, then spend it quietly at home with my Mom and Pop.
No countdowns, no partying till late for me. :)

Just the way I like it.
Took 7hours to complete this drawing. The hair was the part that really drained me out.

Tried some new stuff -
Shading by a technique called crosshatching and used a tortillion to blend in the tones instead of my usual cotton bud method.

I made a grave mistake by leaving my sketchbook open on my desk when I headed to Church. The moisture in the air made my paper soft and affected my shading alot.

The next one will be better. ;)
Blessed Christmas everyone.

Through the good and bad.

2011-12-21T08:10:00.001+08:00

My BFF.

17 years since we were placed in the same class in Primary 1.

I'm stuck with his whininess ever since. ;D

Meaty goodness...

2011-12-16T10:49:00.001+08:00

Most people bake cookies and cupcakes and lots of sugary treats for their loved ones for Christmas...

Not me.. I believe in taking care of the people I love (I give weird gifts like multivitamins and fish oil lol. But hey those are good stuff), knowing how bad sugar is for the body, it isn't the ideal Christmas gift imo.
If I ever give you chocolate... You know you are on my hate list haha.

So no sugar-loaded treats.. What then?

MEAT! Full of amino-acids, great for detoxifying the body and keeping you lean, healthy and strong.. Yum yum.

Those are what I call Alison's Superb Christmas Meatballs, made with minced beef and pork. Together with some other secret ingredients of course (which, I can't tell you, or I'd have to kill you).
Made another halal version for my Coach - beef and chicken!

Most meatball recipes call for breadcrumbs to be added, I replaced the breadcrumbs with ground flax meal instead. The meatballs still hold well together, plus you have some omega-3 and fiber goodness added!

So if you want to be tall like me... Eat more meat!

2011-12-12T13:07:00.001+08:00

For those who have Monday Blues... ;p

You have everything that you need to succeed in whatever you want...

Work hard and cheer up!

5X5

2011-12-10T08:19:00.001+08:00

I love love love love to Deadlift!
The heavy deadlifts on Wednesday left me sore as hell the days after.. I love it! :D

Currently on a 5X5 Strength program to build up my, you got it, strength before I proceed to a more conditioning and fat loss based program come 2012.

Progress so far has been good, dropped 4% body fat in two months; well not exactly impressive but I've
managed to maintain most of my lean mass which I've spent the past 6months building up.. My back development is coming up too!
The process may be slow, but I'll conquer each day, one day at a time. ;)

2011-11-30T23:15:00.001+08:00

"...everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance.."
- Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Singapore River Regatta 2011..

2011-11-28T21:27:00.001+08:00

The Silver cookies of my team's blood sweat and tears..

For the 3 years I've been rowing with Kiyah-Splashh!, I've never seen my Coach, Haoyuan, roared like a siao gao (meaning: mad dog) before.

That precious victory roar of his.. which I can only reciprocate with a big megawatt smile. :D

Doing what I love..

2011-11-24T16:23:00.001+08:00

Life's been good. My first week at work went smoothly, each day I try to make it a point to learn something new.

Wake up early, work, train, eat, nap, read/study, eat, work again, go home, sleep.

Yup, that's a day in my life, 5 days a week. Saturdays I work till 1pm then head to Tessensohn gym to train with my Coach. :)

The only thing I'm missing is time spent with my family. The only time I get to see them is when I get home from work at around 10pm because i leave the house before they're even up in the morning.

I am grateful for all that I have right now. For a job that I love, that also allows me to do what I love (train!) and for having a family to go home to. ;)

-

I still say a prayer for you each day when I wake, and each night before I go to bed. Just so you know.

Some shots from the 3rd WBPF World Men's BB Championship..

2011-11-15T12:16:00.001+08:00

Coach is the sexy one, 2nd from left!

Now for the Lat spread..

Got to eat at the athletes' dining hall for lunch on the second day..
The perfect meal of steamed chicken breasts, dry roast beef, hard boiled eggs, veggies.

Visited Dr. Gan's Gym on Sunday. Saw Malaysian Bodybuilder Wong Hong training. HUGE!

Check out this Incline Bench Press..

It's not about the equipment, it's about good programming and the heart to train. :)

A snapshot with Malaysian female bodybuilder Lilian Tan during our walk along Jonker Street..

Look at her arms and thighs!

2011-11-15T09:17:00.001+08:00

Really?

Seems like everything I've ever wanted before simply slips away from me.. I never seem to be able to hold on to the people or things I cherish..

-

I had a much needed time off in Melaka the past weekend, to support my Coach in his contest - the 3rd WBPF World Men's Bodybuilding Championships. Definitely an eye-opener for me... And I'm ever so proud of my Coach for standing on stage at 55years of age.

Tomorrow, I start work proper at Genesis. I'm gonna be preoccupied with work from Monday-Saturday from then on!

*Friends please take note: Tuesdays will no longer be my Off day. Kindly switch all appointments with me to Sundays please, and Saturday evenings are subjected to changes.

2011-11-07T17:31:00.001+08:00

My client emailed me this.

Haha!

Bodyfat assessment.

2011-11-05T23:48:00.001+08:00

Today's Lesson:
Bodyfat assessment and the Biosignature 12-sites measurement. Next week I'll get to try it hands on with the Harpenden calipers! Woohoo can't wait.

During my FISAF course, I was taught the 3-sites Jackson and Pollock measurement and that was tough enough, getting the right pinch and pressure and all. Now 12-sites?? That's the shit baby.

It's cool that Genesis has a huge database of every client's information - from their structural assessment to their nutrition, their training progress, etc.
I've always been a sucker for detail, and I strongly believe that if you don't track stuff, you're just guessing.

Track, evaluate, adjust.

Oh my. This is the closest I've felt to my Chemistry roots. Haha!

These rough, callused hands can be gentle too ;)

2011-10-30T19:00:00.001+08:00

Got an earful from Sister No. 2 for blasting pop music in the room while drawing Mother Teresa.. Lol.

Perhaps next time I'll play my mom's Gregorian Chants CD instead.. ;p

Still brushing up on my shading techniques.. If I have the time and money, I'll take up drawing lessons!
This took me 2ish hours to complete..

Off to a place where Greatness begins...!

2011-10-28T19:11:00.005+08:00

I know I posted an R&B version of this song before, but the Sister no. 2 posted an amazing acoustic version of In My Life by The Beatles.

Now that I'm gonna have a little more free time after next week (details later in the post) , maybe I should try out the tabs for this song. It's time to slap the thick layer of dust off my guitars and give them some tender-loving attention again.

It will be my final week closing the gym in the British Club next week. The past month or so I've been busy clearing up my remaining sessions with my clients at the Club as I've made the decision to join Genesis Performance Centre. After working as a freelance Personal Trainer for a year, with the majority of my clients based in the British Club, I somehow feel that I can't progress anymore in my learning journey - at least, not on my own. So you bet I jumped on the opportunity when Jonathan (the Head Coach and owner of Genesis) offered me a chance to be part of his team of coaches. Jonathan is a PICP 4 (Poliquin International Certification Program) certified coach under Charles Poliquin, one of the most accomplished Strength Coaches in the world.

The past month or so I've been training in the mornings at Genesis, trying out the various training programs and at the same time, re-learning how to coach clients proper. To say that I'm excited is an understatement. To have colleagues who take their training, nutrition and supplementation seriously, that's like being in heaven, finally! It irks me to see fat trainers who refuse to move their lazy asses or trainers who make fun of me packing my meals to work, retorting that they love themselves too much to put themselves through such sufferings. I think there really isn't much to say about people who doesn't walk the talk. I guess each of us have different expectations of ourselves. And I expect alot from myself.

Though it saddens me to let go of some of my clients, especially a few motivated ones who have stuck with me for almost a year, I am actually relieved, letting go of the unmotivated, excuses-making ones.. It's pretty draining coaching and training such clients as they want to see results, yet are not willing to go through the hard work. Getting lean is not easy you know, if it is, everyone would look like a sexy beast on the street. Genesis is selective about the clients they take in - only the ones who are willing to commit and put in the hardwork are accepted...

This year is gonna end well, and I believe, next year will be better! :)

I have much to be thankful for... Deo gratias..

2011-10-26T00:36:00.001+08:00

"This is Hamdhoon!!"
- Eleanor, the Sister No. 3

2011-10-23T11:55:00.002+08:00

Love this song!

specks of pixie dust..

2011-10-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

My sister, Alicia, bought me another diary... One more addition to my collection. :)

Hard decision..

2011-10-10T13:13:00.001+08:00

"The body is an amazing machine. No one can argue this concept. We push it hard, and we demand for more. We often empty the tank on many levels, and often we fail to stop and fill that tank and then we expect and demand to get new results. Do we achieve? I would say at first glance the answer is yes. I am a walking example and a testament to prove that it can be done. However there is always a hidden cost; there is a fine print of sorts, and this fine print I want to navigate your attention.

The body is resilient, but it is not indestructible. You can push it to new limits, and I suggest that everyone test and challenged their preconceived limits..this is good for both your body and your mind...however there are limits, and we must value and respect our health as we push our bodies to extremes.

I have pushed my body to the extreme, and though it was most rewarding, I know now the importance of pausing to give back to my body. I know the importance of not looking at the goal from a tunnel vision. I know the importance of change, and I also know the importance of being continually active with our resources as we carve a goal from a holistic view and action. Holistically, it is important to keep health as the over all objective as we push mentally, physically and also spiritually. Some people battle with not pushing themselves at all, while others battle with pushing themselves too much; both are equally dangerous. Holistically is a foundation to achieve all goals from being planted from all parts of self; it is both extremely difficult but extremely rewarding."
-Renee Willis

-

Funny how I saw this just after I've sent my email to the Team Committee to withdraw from November's River Regatta...

After finishing strong in last season's Gym and Water Trials, I couldn't forgive myself for my extremely poor performance in this season's trials..

I did badly in my water trials yesterday and despite knowing the reasons for it, I can't help but feel down and upset over it.

Today I woke up with swollen wrists and a numbness to my left arm because of my bad shoulder (just when it was getting better! Ughh). This was when I decided that I've reached a point where I should stop. At least for now till my body gets better. Sad as I am, I think this is for the best.

Gonna let my body rest and recuperate, and I'll come back stronger next season.

Hmmm maybe I can get my wish of being a drummer this time! :D
Train hard mates, I'll be back!

2011-10-09T19:56:00.001+08:00

Desiderata

2011-10-02T00:13:00.002+08:00

Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

-

Great advice to live by.
I particularly like the second paragraph.. I think the world needs more people who care and gives a damn about others.
Afterall, a person's beauty can only be revealed when there is beauty within.

Be nice. :)

2011-09-30T20:47:00.001+08:00

LMAO!

When I first saw this I thought of my sisters right away.
Alicia's favorite Disney Princess has always been Belle (although she really should be Pocahantas. Blackie!)
Eleanor's the fairest, so she should be Snow White. Besides, Hamdhoon's a Muslim....... So I guess having many kids will be part of her future. :p
As for me, because I have my ways to fall asleep at almost any place imaginable, my teammates call me Sleeping Beauty.

No doubt about it, I can't wait to see Alicia's future hubs - the ANIMAL. LOL.

The Shanghai Chinese International "Glory Cup" Invitational Race 2011

2011-09-26T22:04:00.001+08:00

"Hellos hellos greetings from Shanghai! Gerard and I arrived at Pudong Hotel at 2am yesterday.

The team had our training session at Xiayang Lake this afternoon. The air is cool here, and very dry. Most of us aren't really used to it, and I'm glad I brought my Skins suit with me. The water is freaking colddd! All of us were shivering.

There's something peculiar about this team from China which we saw at the race site today. The group of rowers were sitting together and at first sight, you would have thought they were a group of men! Their girls are extremely tall and all of the rowers have such long limbs; bodies made for rowing. If you think I'm tall, you should see their girls - 2 heads taller than me. It's gonna be like rowing against a team of Yao Mings! :S

I'm heading to bed now, breakfast's at 0630hrs tomorrow and our first race will be the 3000m rounding race, thereafter we'll head for lunch and continue with the 500m straight course races in the afternoon.

We can do this."

I typed the above before realizing that I can't access blogspot in China.
That blog entry was supposed to be posted on Saturday night, after our team's training session at Xia yang lake, the night before our race.

All our hopes turned into utter disappointment. Though we came in 1st for the Minor Finals of the 500m straight course race, our placing in the 3000m rounding race caused our overall placing to fall to 7th place, just a mere 1 point away from 6th!

It is absolutely okay if this was our best effort yet still, we aren't good enough to beat the other teams. But sadly, we could've got a better overall placing.. maybe even a 4th place. However, a teammate's negligence (by not tying the rudder with a rope despite it being emphasized and reminded during the team briefing the night before) caused us a 15secs penalty due to race lane violation because of the loss of control of our boat.

We could do it. It was so obvious and I know all of us in the boat were so sure we were one of the stronger teams. This is one of those times when an apology doesn't make things better. I couldn't sleep on Sunday as the memory of the incident kept haunting me in my mind.

How often do we get a chance for a good team of strong and committed rowers to be able to fork out time, to come together for a race experience such as this? All the Saturdays and Sundays spent at the Kallang river just training and training.. the injuries and butt abrasions from the grueling long distance rowing practice.. All of these sacrifices have come to nothing.

Yes I'm thankful for the race experience and the chance to row against the international teams - there are teams from New York, Los Angeles, Australia, Macau, HongKong, the Philippines, Malaysia, etc. But I guess it is truly time for me to manage my expectations in being part of a team sport - I can do my part but there will always be things beyond my control.

I had a brilliant time with my buddies in the team though. Such fun times! I guess shit happens and this will just be another part of Kiyah-Splashh!'s history.. which, the team will see my Coach mentioning this painful incident repeatedly in the trainings to come..... Oh gosh.

2011-09-20T23:25:00.001+08:00

My little sister bought all these boxes of tea back from her recent trip to the Maldives. Insane. My itchy hands just gotta stack them up! ;)

That place. A year on.

2011-09-18T23:52:00.001+08:00

I wish I knew what went wrong.
I wish I know what to say.

I hope you know someday that when I make a choice, I always remember.

-

I've got a 'batman mask' tan on my face thanks to my Oakleys.

Freak on the street!

I'm flying to Shanghai on Thursday for the dragonboat race that we've been training so hard for. Pretty excited about this, gonna be a hell of an experience. Yays.

2011-09-15T14:25:00.001+08:00

IF - Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

2011-09-12T08:54:00.001+08:00

My secondary school friend whatsapped me at 4 bloody A.M. To ask me to listen to this song and watch the movie clips.

What the hell?!!

-

Now that I'm fully awake and I watched it again, it really brought back many wonderful memories from school...

But as with many things in life, you don't get many chances. Once you missed it, it may never be yours..

Once bitten twice shy?
I should've known that..

Promise Yourself

2011-09-10T23:15:00.001+08:00

Promise Yourself -
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

- by Christian D. Larson – 1912

-
I think that is something beautiful, and worth keeping in mind and heart. ;)

2011-09-08T19:26:00.001+08:00

The price to pay for the Shanghai race..

That's what you get from rowing and rowing and rowing non-stop..

My poor teammate's butt got some serious abrasion! OMG. :O

Take ownership of yourself

2011-09-08T14:14:00.001+08:00

My colleague mentioned how people usually take care of their cars better than their bodies. Ever noticed how when there's a tiny scratch or a little dent on the car and off it goes for servicing?

Found it pretty interesting and so very true. We don't put cheap fuel into our cars and expect it to run well. Yet we put junk into our bodies and expect to look good and feel well. Hmmm.

I've been guilty of not 'servicing' my body when I really do need to. I have been doing some partner-assisted stretches with this really nice lady (the one who tried time and again to introduce me to her son lol) every Friday when she comes to the club. It's amazing how such a simple habit makes her feel so much better. Prior to our weekly sessions, she had been experiencing some pain in her lower back and hip. It's funny how I seem to emphasize the importance of mobility work and nag at my clients time and again to stretch, yet never found the time to do so on myself.

That foam roller is staring at me now.
Well, it's time.

Treat your body better than your car! You can replace your car but not your body..

2011-09-04T15:18:00.001+08:00

“And perhaps the human race should be rendered a state of drunkenness. Maybe then, we’d say only the truth, we’d open our hearts raw, we’d say words of affections without worrying whether it would deem us undesirable, cheap or unwanted. Maybe then, I’d let you know if you’ve been on my mind, I’d let you know that you’re all that I want and I’d call you just because your voice brings me comfort. Maybe then, but maybe never.”
- AJ

..finding myself. (a much needed reflection)

2011-09-02T20:23:00.001+08:00

Of recent, I've been talking and sharing with Kwan, a super strong guy who trains at the British Club (somewhat a pretty good friend of mine now), about my training frustrations and what-not.

He was the one who noticed that I lack the rage that would help me progress much more in my training. I met him again today, and had a much needed talk. This is gonna be a pretty long post, but I think it will benefit those who are stuck in a rut in their training (besides, I think there are points in which you can apply to your life too).

My current issue with myself is that I find it hard to focus when I train, and to be honest, it doesn't help when you are training in a Club gym when all you see are women on the cardio machines reading a book, or young egoistic boys prancing around. My shoulder and wrist injuries, my sleep issues, and my increase in workload contributed to me feeling pretty down and out these days too.

That brings about Kwan's first point:

The Environment -
Some people treat the gym/training ground as a very personal place; that the moment they step into it, they leave everything behind. All their distractions, work woes, or whatever shit they're facing in their miserable lives... they leave them all behind. This helps them to train better, and find their focus and intensity.
Sadly, as a Trainer, I practically live in the gym. I spend most of my waking hours in the gym and therefore it is really hard for me to switch to 'beast-mode' when I am training. I love the gym, but it's hard for me to switch to become 'another person' when I'm in this same place almost everyday.

Energy Level -
The level of stress you're experiencing, the quantity and quality of sleep, as well as the nutrition affects how you're feeling (whether strong and ready to go or lethargic and crappy) when you train.

State of Mind -
What are the distractions and problems going on in your life? You have to sort them out. It isn't about finding the solutions to the problem, but rather how are you gonna put them aside during your training. Kwan mentioned a few things that could aid in getting my focus:
- finding my 'Monster Music', a song that, once played, will help me shut everything out..Current Monster Music: Forever and Always. HAHA! That song's stuck in my head. X)
- Drinking coffee before I workout (I loveeee my coffeeee....as black and bitter as possible)
- Repeating motivational quotes to myself before I train
- Visualizing scenes in movies that will give me a kick, ya'know like Rocky lols.. (but no chugging of raw eggs down my throat for me please).

Confidence -
He asked me, "are you happy with what you see in the mirror?"
Not just the appearance, but the person within as well..
"Do you like what you see? You have to like what you see, you have to love yourself, no matter where you are or what state you are in right now. Have confidence. Confidence in yourself, that even if you are not where you would want to be right now, you know you will get there."
So, let's say that even if you are a fat fuck or a skinny bastard and you really hate yourself for that, try loving yourself and have confidence that your body will change with proper planning in your nutrition and training.

Identity -
Somewhat like having self-confidence, but the questions this time are, "Who do you want to be? Where do you want to be at?" Finding that identity is important. A brilliant point that Kwan said was, that it's okay to have idols or having Superheros to relate to, but it is paramount that you identify with yourself.
"In the end, I tell myself, that I am Kwan. I am the key to my successes or failures."
If we depend too much on something to relate to, when it is gone, we'll feel lost. Ultimately, motivation must come from within. And that is when it must come from you.

Happiness -
You must be happy. And you must be happy doing the things you do.
Gotta admit, my Happiness Index hasn't been going up.

Purpose and Goals -
"If you know your purpose, and you have your goals clear in your mind, you will do everything that matters, to achieve them.. For me as an athlete, even if I rest, I must not feel guilty because I know my body needs it and by taking a step back, I know I will move forward. Therefore, the little things like stretching and resting matters as well."
More isn't better. Better is better.

Last thing he said to me before he went off to catch the shuttle bus:
You have no problems with your training, technique-wise, what you need, is to train your mind.
Reflect, find yourself and maybe we can train together next week.

:)

-

Anyway, I've been thinking, the past weekend, we had a terrible turnout for the mock-trials cum gym session. Caron, the ladies team Captain, was really upset about the girls' lack of commitment, despite the promises made after our crushing, humiliating defeat at the Singapore Dragonboat Festival in July. I guess this is partly what's affecting my focus during training as well, because I find myself questioning, why the heck do I train so hard for, when the boat is only as fast as the slowest rower..? Why do I care about my nutrition so that I can perform better, when my teammates are having junkfests and not taking care of their bodies, which in turn affects their performances? I don't think it is fair to Caron as well, that she gotta put off her baby-plans for awhile just to train hard, with a hope to do well for the year-end River Regatta only to have 'passengers' trying to ride her waves.

Well.. I think I will sort my thoughts out. Every single shit that's been bothering me, I think it's time to let them go. I will now train to better myself, whether or not the others are.
Whatever that Kwan said is true.. I should determine my own happiness, instead of letting something or someone take that away from me.
Right now, I am not happy with who I am, where I am, and the person I see, but I think after today, it is time to change my perception.

I will be better.. I will get to where I want to be.
And I am that person, who will make it happen.

(p.s. I finally hit the Erg target set for the ladies team: 400m in 1:30mins!!! I rowed a 406m and prior to this, I've not been able to ever reach that damning 400m! This shows once again that the state of mind is extremely important. ;) I'm going to do some sets on the Erg now. Bye!)

2011-08-30T06:38:00.001+08:00

2011-08-28T22:29:00.000+08:00

Here I am icing my shoulder while trying to rewrite my training program..
Chunkiat was kind enough to do an assessment of my left shoulder after our team's gym session (which was really just a proper demo/run-through of the exercises for our gym trials in October..)

My hunch was right. I tore my rotator cuff... I realised the severity of my injury a few days back when I had trouble sleeping due to the pain and when I couldn't change into my clothes properly because it is so difficult to reach behind my back! What a pain in the ass. :'(
I've got to cut out certain exercises as well as stop all heavy direct shoulder work, focusing on rehabilitation instead... Thus, the need for a new training program.
Chunkiat instructed me to work on releasing my infraspinatus and pec minor to ease the pain during movement. I doubt I'll stop rowing though, as the Shanghai race is in less than a month's time, and I know, my team really wanna win this.

I know, this seems silly, because there will always be a next race.. and another, and another..
But it sucks to know that you are the limitation to your own dreams..

You know what I mean?

:(

..undeserving, ever thankful.

2011-08-26T21:53:00.001+08:00

I don't think I deserve this.. But I think God still watches over me, despite the terrible person that I am.

Two weeks ago, I was worrying so much about my job due to the change in management, along with the million other things on my messed up mind.. Well things have since gotten much better. I've a sudden influx of clients from the club, got offered to work with 3 other Trainers to conduct outdoor group exercise sessions, and got some referrals for clients outside as well. And now I've got free supps. It may not seem like much.. But the little things matter most to me. :)
(Besides, I finally get to try out Magnum Quattro! I've always wanted to try it but it's so pricey.. Cheap thrill, I know. Haha!)

Then I have my beloved childhood sweetheart BEN (gimme a minute, need to cross my fingers, lol) who've been so sweet to design my name card and send it for print... All these so that I can take my mind off (and possibly prepare for) my supposed impending doom at the club.

Am ever thankful for the people who are always there when I needed some comfort. Thanks!
I get stressed up pretty easily, so you can't imagine my appreciation for the help given to me.. Even the seemingly small stuff. (Stuff like helping me with the dragonboat bookings. And conducting cool downs after training before the Coach turns cranky.. Haha! Right, Jon?) I think I should just cease worrying so much.

-

After a happy morning having coffee with Ben, I cooked this:

1 Can of Hunt's Diced Tomatoes
150g diced Chicken Breasts
200g diced Beef
1 chopped Onion
Mixed vegetables
Lots of ground black pepper, parsley and some thyme.

Put everything in a pot and turn on the stove.

There!

That's some good fuel for your body, you gotta try it, it's the BOMB.

Forever and always...

2011-08-26T12:59:00.001+08:00

Ever since Nigel posted this song, it keeps playing in my head omg Nigel!

This song takes emo to a whole new level but I gotta say it's really good! :D

2011-08-25T19:34:00.001+08:00

The nagging discomfort in my left shoulder is turning into pain. Too much for my tolerance. So much so that it could very likely be the cause of my insomnia. Ughhh.

I hate it most when it's affecting my workouts..

Chunkiat's gonna give my shoulder a check on Sunday. If all's not well I'm gonna do something about it.
I wouldn't want to miss rowing for the Shanghai Race. :(

Dear Grapefruit, please get well soon.

2011-08-23T21:50:00.001+08:00

Because we all need a good laugh sometimes. ;)

But I think the key point is:
don't fuck with the wrong person! :D

..my body needs rest. The mind denies it.

2011-08-21T23:46:00.001+08:00

My new bestie.

Thanks for the tip Donloree! ;)

2011-08-21T02:20:00.001+08:00

2011-08-20T15:28:00.001+08:00

"And the right one comes along, lifting your spirit in the right way.
Breathes a certain calmness, peace into your soul.
Understands, and speaks your language.
Instead of derailing you from your dreams, accelerates your hunger.
Makes you want to be better,
makes you want to be the best version of yourself.."
- A.J.

Go and chase your dreams.
Do what you need to do.

It doesn't really matter how it all began..

2011-08-17T02:37:00.001+08:00

Training was good today. My strength is going up and I'm pleased with that - everyone wants to train to get stronger, right?!

It dawned upon me that I'm not dreading 'Legs Day' that much any more..
In fact, I suspect I'm beginning to love it. LOLs.
Something must be wrong with me, somewhere.
All the pain and hard work is paying off because I think my quads grew quite a bit since the Nationals. My training tights sure did not fit as well now.

Speaking of the Nationals, Khus showed me a timeline chart displaying his training and diet plans for his preparation for next year's Bodybuilding Nationals. In a way, his excitement seems to spur me on to train harder and prepare better for next year.

Random thought:
My fat arse feels firmer.
Can't help it man.
Just gotta say it.

Squats FTW!

Check out this song...happen to hear it from my friend's mp3. It's one of my favorite songs back in my school days! Cool beans.

The Zzz Monster. Where are you?

2011-08-15T14:14:00.001+08:00

Couldn't workout with Kef at the park twice last week due to my stupid sleep problems. I've now resorted to sleeping on a yoga mat in the Study. Lol. Seems to be working a little. I've been moving from my bed to the couch and now to the floor. If I have a bathtub, I think it's where I'll head next!

Need to get rid of this problem asap before I start looking like a panda (thus less awesome) and get captured in Shanghai. :(
Poor sleep is also causing my work and workouts to suffer.

My life's pretty messed up right now because of this, add on the major changes at work. Plus, the increase in responsibilities and pressure from my dragonboat Coach ain't helping..

With all these shit going on, I still think life is awesome. Well if I'm stuck in shit, I'll just swim around in it! (that being said, if you do not already know, I'm a terrible swimmer. Guess no one's gonna save me while I drown in my shit. Dung. I mean, dang.) :S

Someone once told me, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

I'll always remember that.

I'll get better!

2011-08-13T22:21:00.001+08:00

Got my little 12 year old girl hooked on the Ergometer.

(tip: the Fish Game in the concept II erg did the trick, hoo ya!)

Gonna convert the world one person at a time. Lol. When I get my own place in future, I'll buy a row of ergs and force my friends to have a rowing marathon with me. :D

Gotta go on..

2011-08-10T01:17:00.001+08:00

...people come into our lives for a reason..
Bringing something we must learn..

Sleep has been terrible. Got my ZMA and hopefully, it'll help me get some restful sleep.

What am I worth?

I don't know...

-

Good night.

Mom's 53.

2011-08-08T11:37:00.001+08:00

The momma's 53!

Nobody knew it was her birthday till she brought home a cake that my aunt bought for her.

Can't blame us, her identity card states her birthday as 1st Jan (which is crap by the way), her 'English' calendar birthday is 22nd august, and yesterday was her Chinese calendar birthday!

My mom's birthplace is China and from what I've heard from my grandma, there were some confusion with her birth papers and such when they left for Singapore.

Happy birthday mommy! But I'm sorry I don't think I can fulfill your birthday wish haha!

New Yens.

2011-08-04T22:27:00.001+08:00

Check out my sister's new pets - Adam and Smith..

Yupp, the two little greenish moss balls..

She's normal.
We grew up keeping all sorts of weird things... Meal worms, caterpillars, frogs, lizard, chickens..

2011-08-03T20:02:00.001+08:00

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.."

I wish you enough.. That's all I want for you..

Going for the kill.

2011-07-31T17:33:00.001+08:00

Man I felt good rowing today, even if it was a mad 3km rounding race set that never seems to end... Crazyyyy, but love it when KC went "杀! 杀! 杀!" (it means 'kill! kill! kill!') during our last charge or whenever we were close to another boat as Kevin steered us round the buoy.

Felt so pooped during the set but hearing that really left me guffawing. :DD

Oh the adrenaline and excitement I get!
Haha. This is nuts.

2011-07-30T22:08:00.001+08:00

Ben: When God closes a door, He opens another. ;)

Alicia: No.. When God closes a door, He opens a window for you. :)

Me: God opens the window so I can jump down. :D

2011-07-26T08:52:00.001+08:00

2011-07-24T01:16:00.001+08:00

"Don't let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs.."

It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and absence.. to value presence.

If I'm your option, you can forget about being my priority.

Next stop, Shanghai!

2011-07-23T14:53:00.001+08:00

Gerard and I finally got our flights to Shanghai booked!

If you haven't got the news, I'm heading to Shanghai for the 2011 Shanghai International Chinese Dragon Boat Invitational Tournament in September.

Those are pictures of Xia Yang Lake, the place where we'll be rowing.
Cool beans huh?

Really stoked about the trip and I'm gonna kidnap a cute panda to bring home..

But first, loads and loads of hard training to make the trip worthwhile....

2011-07-21T17:48:00.002+08:00

A friend shared this video with me, omg, this cover by Sam Tsui is amazing!

I'm pretty bummed that I gotta give my little cousin Kyan's birthday party a miss on Saturday. Can't find anyone to take over my work. I really miss my cousins badly and it's a Power Rangers Party dammit!

Power Rangers okay!!

Many things running through my mind lately..

I hope things will be okay.

2011-07-20T00:13:00.001+08:00

"No one can change a person, but a person can be the reason someone changes.."

Away from the Urban Jungle.

2011-07-18T23:35:00.001+08:00

Spent my weekend at Batam, away from the hectic lifestyle in Singapore.. Me likey. ;)
This uncle is working so hard to cook his corns!
Hence.. Being the ever wonderful and sweet girl that I am, I decided to help him out!
Relaxing in a Kelong... Too good!

We visited a very old-school gym - Valiant Gym - hidden in some ulu part of Batam.
Check this out, no air-conditioning! Now that's my KIND of gym. Can't stand training in a cold gym.. :S
Seated rows.. Cool beans.
Look at the Leg Press and T-Bar!

Then there's this shop that sells scented oils.. And they have weird names too.
Put this on... And you'll feel like a Britney. Hopefully, it's the Britney in her hot young days though... Lols.
Aha! I need this... Maybe this scent will attract 212 men to me hahaha!
Happy days!! :D

Just the way you are..

2011-07-14T17:49:00.001+08:00

You are amazing, just the way you are.
-

With the training program and trials all set for the new Dragonboat season, I'm pretty psyched to train even harder.

I get asked very often lately if I'm still training for bodybuilding. Of course I am, just that I'm more focused on rowing right now as I won't be competing anymore this year. Bodybuilding is a sport that takes time, we're speaking about being natural of course lols. So... I'm still training (I've got a promise to fulfill to my Coach!), and I gotta admit, trying to juggle between training to be great in rowing and training to build an aesthetic body isn't easy.. Rowing requires strength, fitness but muscular endurance as well.. That's not to say bodybuilding is easy, it requires much effort and work too. But more isolation work is needed in order to bring out the muscle groups that are lagging. The training goals are pretty different. Well anyway, I've found a solution!
Twice a day trainings -
A.M. to train for fitness, P.M. for a more bodybuilding-style of training to bring up my lagging body parts (hamstrings, please grow!)

There you go. ;)

Some thoughts to share:
Very often, we look upon people who are so successful with so much envy and awe... And then we think how lucky they are to be where they are right now. We forget, or we don't see.. the tears and sweat they went through to get to where they are. We often see the beautiful picture, but fail to see the pain and hell the person endured to get there..

So just so you know, be careful what you wish for. If you wish to be the best, you gotta work harder than the rest.

...caught while snoozing...Zzzz

2011-07-14T00:15:00.001+08:00

This is what happens when you sleep during races, and have irritating-as-arse teammates. :D
Lesson learnt!

2011-07-11T09:33:00.001+08:00

In the words of Caron...
'Band of Sistas!'
The teammates I can trust.. ;)

2011-07-10T20:56:00.001+08:00

Michael Learns to Rock. One of my favorite bands. They're most popular for their hit song 25 Minutes but I think this is pretty good too. ;)

2011-07-08T06:40:00.001+08:00

Be with me, Lord.
The world is confusing as it is,
And so am I.

2011-07-06T01:41:00.001+08:00

"God.. grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me..."

2011-06-30T23:15:00.001+08:00

Saw this while I was blog-surfing...
LOL!!

-

True that! ;p

2011-06-29T20:49:00.001+08:00

Pretend
- Secondhand Serenade

It seems all of these words
couldn't be further from the truth
How did I get here?
What did I do?

Your eyes, telling me lies
And making me find myself
While you have your agenda, a life to pursue
So please,
Let me be free from you
And please, let me be free
I can face the truth.
I'm blind to all of your colors
That used to be rainbow then
My eyes, where did they go to?
Why disappear?

It's hard to be all alone
I never got through your disguise
I guess I'll just go, and face all my fear

So please,
Let me be free from you
And please, let me be free
I can face the truth.

Put down your world
Just for one night
Pick me again

So please,
Let me be free from you
And please, let me be free
I can face the truth

2011-06-28T07:45:00.001+08:00

Ben shared this with me:
I've been living by the words, "Appreciate everything, attach yourself to nothing" ..

Maybe it's okay to feel attached to something or someone after all... But to learn to let go should the time comes.

Awesome boomz shit..

2011-06-27T10:02:00.001+08:00

These earphones are the shit.
I had two people calling out to me yesterday, (yelling, to be exact) but to no avail. Pissed off, I got a whack in return lol.

These are really some shit earphones. The bass is WOW. The only problem is, I gotta take out the studs of my tragus ear piercings when I put the earphones on.

Thanks Fangs and Nigel! ;))

-

I've signed up for the Shanghai International Dragonboat Meet. It'll be quite an experience, plus, our accommodation and meals will be covered! If all goes well and I manage to get selected, the team should be leaving on the 22nd September.

This will be one hell of a race. Two races - 3000m rounding race and a 500m straight course race.

I know what I've signed up for though.
Burnt weekends, and lots of rowing mileage to clock.

The saving grace is, at least this time, if I'm going, I know I'll be going with teammates I can trust. ;) Nothing's worse than rowing with people who goes with the sole intention of sightseeing.

2011-06-26T21:46:00.001+08:00

"People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel."

I want a home gym.

2011-06-23T23:51:00.001+08:00

My parents didn't like the idea of me buying dumbbells and bringing a bar and some weight plates home. Mom succeeded in getting me to put the bar at Khus' gym instead, with her incessant nagging no less.

Wait till she finds out what my buddy has in her house......

-100 kg worth of weights
- a barbell
- a whole set of Kettlebells
- two 30 pound dumbbells
- and a freakinggg Power rack!!!! (if you don't know what's a power rack, it is something like a squat rack. If you don't know what's a squat rack, ermm... then I honestly don't know what have you been training haha! Time to get a Trainer.. ;p )

WTF!!!!

2011-06-22T08:25:00.001+08:00

"....because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement...
For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away..."

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Planks and pencils.

2011-06-16T21:23:00.002+08:00
Love this song. Bon Jovi's indeed one of the best bands out there..

-

I've been on a Planking craze...

Planking on a kayak..

Then side plank on my cousin..!

What's next? ;)

-

Oh I did a pencil sketch for my Coach, for his birthday..
Took me about close to 5 hours...

I wish I could draw faster and better. In case I lose my job as a Trainer, hey maybe I could put a stool somewhere in town and set up a stall lol..

Or, a better alternative is to find a rich ass partner to buy me chicken breasts and pencils. Heh heh.
A fantastic plan, no?

2011-06-15T10:44:00.001+08:00

The family that puts clay masks together stays beautiful together.
Both inside and out. :)
My love-hate relationship with my dad.

Love him for making me laugh.

Hate him because laughing with my mask on will make me look like a fugly old hag afterwards.

2011-06-11T12:20:00.001+08:00

Is it safe to finally bring down the walls I've built up?

-

Felt lethargic during dragonboat training this morning. Slept late due to work, and still had to be woken up at 4am by the screams and yellings of Alicia and Eleanor. That was one hell of a fight. I swear someday they'll kill eachother.

Bad start to the day if you have to wake up at 6 for training.

Sigh. Off to work.

The best years of our lives - Evan Taubenfeld

2011-06-10T21:14:00.001+08:00

2011-06-09T15:06:00.001+08:00

My birthday gift from my coach..
Actually... He should've just gotten me an alarm clock so that I'll start being on time for trainings!

18 again.

2011-06-08T01:45:00.001+08:00

Dinner with my dearest JC buddies.
The other two forgot to take a picture of themselves. Lol.
So I'm 18 again. :D
For those who are ignorant, well, I am forever 18. Lols.

Since a long time ago, my birthdays doesn't seem really special to me anymore. I do appreciate and am very happy to spend it with my family and friends of course, but what else is there really to be thrilled about?

My sister just reminded me that the deal goes on for this Christmas.
In case you don't know, my sisters and I made a deal to bring our partners to our annual family Christmas gathering. The person who's single, gotta pay 50bucks.

So far, I've been spared. Only because my sister's bf couldn't make it. Haha!
If I add up the years, I would have to pay 300bucks already dammit.

It has been a rocky year (in terms of relationships) for my dear olddd friend, Ben and my sister, not so much for me. I have many who love me but none that I love wahahaha. Okay, maybe one. But I'm just so scared of going through the emotional turmoil you know? I'm scared to find someone who'd leave and not stay.. And in the end, what I'm looking for is simply someone I can be happy with and feel right with. I think that's what most of us are looking for too.

Well, anyways, I would like to use part of my birthday wish (if it really works) then, for them.

"That you two will find happiness this year, someone who will stay and not leave. Someone who will always be there.."

You know, I really don't mind paying up.

So cheer up you two toots!
My wishes are powerful. :)

Okay, bye.

2011-06-07T15:46:00.001+08:00

Love this version of the song.

2011-06-07T09:00:00.001+08:00

"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before."

- from the movie "Good Will Hunting"

2011-06-06T07:08:00.001+08:00

"Unsaid words can mean everything, but in the end they would mean nothing because they were never said.."

starting young..

2011-06-04T08:59:00.000+08:00
Thailand has a Women Fitness Junior category! That's pretty cool..

(Photos from Thaibody.com)

Look at that posture. *Thumbs up.

The best cardio machine is... Yourself!

2011-06-03T19:38:00.001+08:00

I have to say, I am not a big fan of Burpees. I dread it during the period when I was doing Crossfit and would secretly hope I won't see it on the whiteboard for the day's WOD.

I dread it most when after two hours of rowing under the blerdy hot sun, Guolong will gleefully instruct us to do burpees.

But sometimes, you just gotta love what you hate, especially when it is good for you.

So today, I decided to do 'em burpees to make up for not waking up to train on my 400m run sets. (damn the clock!!! I have 4 clocks can you imagine!)

The burpees really got my heart rate up. Whoever invented the burpee is brilliant. You can now do cardio anywhere anytime, so no more excuses to all couch potatoes. Take away your couch and you can do your burpee.
I think I'm gonna start a burpee ritual before breakfast every morning to up my fitness and prepare for the team's gym/land trials. Hoping to ace them too.

My workout today consists of Dumbbell rows, burpees, push ups, Australian chin-ups, Dumbbell swings and split squats.

The thing about training in the club's gym is that the environment is too.... mmmm, slack. The gym's beautiful and that's the problem. Makes me wanna chill and relax instead of training hard. Haa. And I hate cold gyms. I wish there are gyms without air-conditioning.

As I was halfway through my push ups and Australian chin ups superset, I felt like puking.

-

Yes omg what a loser!

Now there are 7.

2011-06-03T13:56:00.001+08:00

Happen to see this video taken some time back by my DB mates.

It's not 'belly' painful actually..
Just like how an ear cartilage piercing won't turn off the lights in the piercing studio lol. (i.e. cause blindness)

Now that's a secret bling!

2011-06-01T09:45:00.001+08:00

That's lunch snack and dinner.
And I'll prolly eat some tuna when I get home from work. :D

Things have been good so far.. Work's busy, but I'm thankful for work as I need every cent to pay for my food!
Yes, food! Not bags or clothes or shoes.. Hee hee.

My grocery bill came up to about 238bucks for this month. Which, isn't much if you do the math...
8bucks a day for 5-6 meals. What a deal!

-

I seem to be happier these days.. I don't know why and it feels weird because sometimes you think you aren't a very good person and you don't deserve to be happy. You know? But I am glad to be where I am.

And June is here...!

2011-05-29T22:09:00.001+08:00

My buddy sent me this and it cracks me up till no end. When I see it I just gotta laugh!
Mmm my stress-reliever.
Mess with me and you'll turn into....

THIS!
Muahahaha.

-

Water trials went pretty well today. Training after was tough, but I sat in a boat with motivated rowers. That's when the difference is felt. The boat surges because of every single person's effort.

I like that feeling. :)

-

Random thought:
Find someone who can make you happy and who shares your dreams.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.."
-Henry David Thoreau

2011-05-28T23:03:00.001+08:00

I instructed my 'skinny-fat' client to consume more red meat, preferably before coming to the club to train with me.

Lo and behold! He proudly proclaimed he had a Macdonald's cheese burger before he came. Cheese burger = beef = red meat.

OMG.

Somebody kill me, please!

-

Okay, I'm the most boring person on earth because, right now, I am going to plop onto my bed, on a Saturday night. Hey even my parents aren't home yet!

Cool kid here needs her rest.

Nights!

2011-05-27T14:11:00.001+08:00

The 20minutes uphill walk to the super ulu British Club.

I love long walks like this.
I could walk forever..

2011-05-26T21:46:00.002+08:00
The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are
I want to know
if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can

disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments..

-

Honestly.. I do not know how, and do not like to deal with rejections.
Not being rejected, but the other way round.

Let's just say someday you will find someone right for you.

Auntie Ally and Uncle Ben goes shopping..

2011-05-25T07:56:00.001+08:00

Fresh produce from Cold Storage!
Damn, I thought grocery shopping at NTUC Fairprice was fun, well, nothing compared to Cold Storage at Great World City!
That's what i had for dinner last night. With eggs. :D

I loovvee eggs. Retirement plan to be a free-range chicken farmer starts now.
I couldn't resist not getting a hold on Jamie.

Jamie Oliver ftw! :DDD

Good start to the end of the week.

2011-05-20T11:23:00.001+08:00

I took a horrid 20 minutes to type out the previous post. Come to think of it, I am amazed and pretty much amused by my competency in getting a B3 grade for Chinese in my A levels.

When there's a will, there's a way.

-

It's coming close to 2 weeks post-contest. I'm pretty proud of myself for only gaining a kilogram of my stage weight. It is not uncommon for competitors to gain a copious amount of weight in the mere weeks after contest. The months of dieting drives the brain nuts. I cannot tell you the amount of discipline required just not to balloon into a balloon post-contest.

I'm a believer that you can gain lean mass through clean eating and that there really shouldn't be an off or on-season except, maybe for a brief period of rest.

Been incorporating more interval/circuit kind of training at the park. Some running and bodyweight workouts to keep my fitness in check. The fresh air and sun is a nice start to the rest of my day in the air-conditioned gym with brief moments of unbearable B.O. lol.
I love lifting weights of course, but the bodybuilders' style of training is more of a means to get the muscles/body to look the way you want them to. Training to look good isn't a sin imo. In fact, for the people who says they don't really care about how they look, i conclude that either: they have given up on themselves or, they are big fat liars.

I see a trend in many personal trainers leaning towards a certain 'fitness philosophy'. Not that it's not right, but I feel kinda sad when people think too highly about themselves, raving about their training being functional and bodybuilding, useless.

Clearly, there's no right or wrong as long as the client sees the results he/she wants. If my client wants huge guns, do you really think the TRX can help him achieve that? Isolation workouts have been vastly underrated.

Ask yourself what do you want, then do what you have to do to get it. Simple.

Dragonboat individual water trial is scheduled for next week. During my contest prep, rowing took a backseat. Now, however, it is bugging for my attention with the SDBF coming up in July. Fitness, not just aesthetics, now comes into the equation.

Perhaps sometimes I ask too much of myself, and I'm actually not surprised by the people around me thinking I'm taking this a little too extreme, what with my training and nutrition.

Well, someday I will find someone who shares the things I hold dear to my heart. Someone who likes rowing, bodybuilding, lifting weights, being fit, and whose idea of a delectable meal comprises of grilled chicken breasts with a side of broccoli and a piece of steaming hot sweet potato to top it off.

That's not too hard right?

Hua Wen wo hui !

2011-05-18T16:20:00.001+08:00
Wo de long-chuan teammates jiao wo xie yi ge hua wen 'bu-luo-ke' entry. Ying wei ta men bu xiang xing wo de hua wen you shui zun! Ta ma de!!

Wo de dian nao mei you hua wen software, so wo jiu yong wo de favorite han yu pin yin ba!

Zi cong wo de contest wan le you hen duo ren wen wo wo xian zai eat se me. Teammates dai wo ci Ri Ben food. Hao ci ! Xian zai, dang rang shi hui qu ci ji shiong rou he qing cai. Wo yao body jing bu mah.

Okay, zuo tian, wo, Benjamin, Samantha, he wo de mei mei Alicia, yi qi kan dian ying. Wo men kan Priest zai Cineleisure. Bu shi hen hao kan. Wo shi horror fan, Priest bu xia ren de.

Zui jing wo gong zuo bi jiao mang. Ying wei CPF yao wo huan Ba Ba gong wo du da xue de qian.
Omg. Tou tong.

Hao le, xie xie ni men du wo de bu-luo-ke entry. Xi wang ni men xi huan.
Wo de client lai le, wo yao zuo PT le.

Zai jian! :D

From, Si Hui.

Adventures of Cattie-pillie.

2011-05-14T00:41:00.001+08:00

Meet Cattie-pillie.
My mom bought this for me during her trip to Genting with dad. My sisters each got a raccoon plush, one fairer one darker, just according to their skin tone lol.
After the long trip, he decided to take a sip of water from Penguin-the-water-dispenser. What's next?

Of course, workout time! :D
Post-workout supplements to aid in Cattie-pillie's recovery.
Finally, prayers before heading to bed! Remember, rest and recovery is just as important for muscle growth!
-

Now that's what you do to entertain your sad and bored sister. ;) Nights.

Post-Nationals Reflections

2011-05-09T13:08:00.001+08:00

As with every contest or competition, there will be a winner and a loser.
I didn't fare well for the Nationals, and placed last in my category (Ms. Model Physique, above 160cm).

It was definitely a great and humbling experience to be on the same stage as the other beautiful and amazing ladies. Their conditioning were tiptop and their stage presence and presentation were defnitely an eye-opener for me. I have so much to learn.

Things I could have done better:
- Improve my bodycomposition and get in much leaner.
- Use a tanning cream like pro tan or dream tan. I was way too fair and washed out by the strong lights.
- Build more muscle mass.
- Learn to be more hiao. Haha!

Although I was down and alittle disheartened, I think there are still points where I deserve a pat on my own back:
- I didn't give up even when I saw how conditioned the other ladies were in the dressing room.
- I didn't fall on stage. (Phew!)

All in all, I was humbled. But it was good.
I dieted too late. And I truly lack the mass.
So I will take this time to improve my physique and get leaner as well as build more lean mass.

This was a long ardous journey. And it was hard. You gotta compete to experience it. But I know I wasn't fierce enough, those ladies there were very competitive and full of fire. I lack that.
My dragonboat coach said, "You can have a weak body, but you must have a big heart. If you row with a big heart, overtime, you will beat those who are stronger in body, but weaker in mind and spirit."

Those words struck me so hard.
No matter how long it takes, I will take my time to train with a big heart. :)
Even though my body ain't the best right now, I think, the spirit must never die.

I couldnt have done this without the support of some people whom I am ever grateful and thankful for.
My friends, who were always so understanding, trying their best to accommodate my dietary restrictions. My dragonboat mates, my pillars of support, never-ceasing in their faith in me. My family, tolerating my extreme moodswings. My mom, my personal groceries purchaser. Haha. Enduring weird looks from aunties at the market for buying 10 packs of chicken breasts at one go, and buying 30eggs every few days. My dad, for his graciousness in letting me pursue my dreams. Fuzzy, who did my makeup and for trying to calm me down in the dressing room. Kef, for the fabulous hair, you made me chio-er by 10times wahaha. Khusnady, my friend and somewhat-boss, for his support, encouragement and understanding especially in the last few weeks leading to the comp when I wasn't in the right state to work. And of course, my dear Coach, Ibrahim Sihat, nags at me non-stop but is my main pillar of support. There were others whom I hold dear to my heart, and helped me in little ways that touched me in big ways. Thanks. Every little bit matters to me.

Someday, maybe, someday in the future, this loser may be a winner.

-

Even if the whole world gives up on me, I will never ever give up on myself.
Because if I don't believe, who will?

3 Days Out to the Nationals.

2011-05-04T18:13:00.002+08:00
In three days' time, I will be standing on stage with my tiny two-piece posing suit a.k.a. bikini, just smack infront of a huge crowd with glaring lights and eyes on me. And oh yes, gotta do that catwalk with my bloody high heels on. Half-naked, posing on stage. Uh-huh. What the hell was I thinking when I decided to do this?

Yep. That's exactly how I feel and look right now.

I don't know why, but I am feeling really jittery about this, unlike that of Muscle War. Let's pray that God will help me again and take away my anxiety and shit-in-my-pants feeling.
Nobody can save me! Ahh...!

As I'm typing this, I am also chewing my cold rubbery chicken breast. Yum yum. Although it would be good to eat some normal food post-contest, dear friends, please don't think you can try and fatten me up!
I worked my arse off for this... don't even try to take all that I've built up away...

-

Now back to more cardio. Suck it up baby!

House mouse can read.

2011-04-21T20:21:00.001+08:00

Since putting this sign up, I no longer find my packed food missing!

Mmmm seems like the large mousy mouse can read English after all.. ;) hehehe.

4 Weeks Out from Nationals - Thoughts.

2011-04-14T14:32:00.001+08:00
Hi there. I'm 4 weeks out from contest. Through out these past weeks days and hours that I've spent training planning cooking eating... I've finally got my peaceful rest last night.

I told my mom a few days ago, that after this Nationals, I'm gonna take a break from competing. The stress of contest preparation is taking a toll on my body. Although I am guessing that post-contest I'd still pretty much eat the same clean food, and of course, keep training, (I enjoy eating clean and training) I think it is the mental torment that I can't take. I've not been able to sleep well. And as a result, more stress builds up as my body couldn't recover and then my body stops responding. Certainly, there are improvements to my physique, that, both my coach and I agree. But progress is slow.

Do you know how it feels like when you're so sore and burnt out and you know your body needs rest to recover but yet you can't make such a simple decision as to whether you should have a break from training or not?

My mind fights with itself. To train or not to train. When I train, my whole body is screaming for rest. Yet if I choose not to train, my mind yells at me saying while I'm resting my competitors are training.
Crazy. Yes, I may just go mad. Coach talked to me and finally, I forced myself to rest yesterday. No cardio no weights. Just rest.

Body rested - checked.
Mind rested - uhh.

Before I really turn crazy I decided to talk myself into self-acceptance. Self-acceptance isn't letting go of my goals and dreams. It isn't giving up or allowing myself to create excuses to be lazy. It isn't compromising what I'm worth.

I think, it is in understanding myself and my body. It is in learning that sometimes, time is perhaps all I need.
Words from Caron - 'You cannot rush perfection.'

My body is far from perfect. And I know, that when I step on stage on the 7th of May, I may not have the best body. But instead of working against myself, tormenting my mind and body, I've decided to change my perspective and work with myself instead.

Self-acceptance :
To accept and acknowledge my flaws and limitations, but never giving in to it. Work together to make progress. Onward.

I think I'm still a fighter. But I rest well now knowing that I have to work with myself, not against. You know what? Through that much needed rest I took yesterday, voila, I trained with much better focus and intensity today.

Silly me, I've been fighting against the wrong person all the time.

I will do my utmost best, to bring my best package to the stage. And whatever the results, I know deep down, that I've done my best and perfection... simply cannot be rushed. :)

-

"Life is a constant struggle. It always has been and always will be. But I've finally realized that to take yourself to new places, to greater heights, the only way is to work with yourself and not against. Self-acceptance first, then work with yourself."

5 Weeks Out from Nationals - Thoughts.

2011-04-05T17:39:00.001+08:00
"Becoming something isn’t a cognitive decision that you decide one day and its done. It takes discipline and dedication to manage your choice every single day of your life. Define what it is for yourself, otherwise you will spend a lifetime letting others define you.."

- Donloree Hoffman

-

I shudder at the thought of how quickly time passes us. The Bodybuilding Nationals will be here in about a month's time, 7th May.

I met some of my fellow competitors last Saturday, during a meet up at the SBBF office. There is something about this sport that makes you nervous about seeing your competition before the actual contest. It's not like rowing, whereby you can psyche yourself to give that bit more effort in the race, knowing it will make all of a difference. In a sense, nothing's certain.

However, being a physique athlete is different. The moment you see the condition of your competitor, the result should be known to you already.
True enough, I still have 5 weeks and nothing's final yet. But sometimes, you can't help it when your mind starts playing games with you.

Nonetheless, there is no room for giving up now ain't it? I know I can still make a difference.
Win or lose, it DOES matter to me. Whoever said it doesn't, is a liar.
If we go into something planning to lose, then why do it at all?

I think the take-home message is, just do your best.
If you win, keep your head down. If you lose, keep your head up, and go again. And again and again... Till you become a Champion.